Blog – I’ve Lost Someone Close To Me

Blog – I’ve Lost Someone Close To Me – A follow up note to my dear friend Christine. She asked how I was doing after finding my uncle had passed on January 13, 2025.

I’m doing better. Thank you for asking. I took an abundance of melatonin and got some decent sleep. Monday was shocking and surreal. My mom and her sister get hysterical when anything happens and I have a hard time with the screaming and crying. It’s too much. I’m a silent processor. 🤷‍♀️

Yesterday was worse than Monday for me. First, my uncle wasn’t here at work. My dad and I were doing the jobs he normally does which was super hard emotionally. My dad cried all day which had me and Tomas in tears.  We’ve all been working together daily over 12 years.

Neither of my mom’s brothers ever married. I’ve never known uncle Rick to have a girlfriend. He’s always around. I fix his computers and phones. I help him with bills, taxes, Medicare, social security stuff…the list goes on and on. I do all the same stuff for my parents. Once you figure it out, word spreads. 😂

I’ve never lost a person that I see daily. Uncle Rick is the closest person to me that has ever passed. My parents were falling apart. I was not well. My sister is doing the hazmat cleanup at his house. The coroner thinks he died early Friday evening. By the time we checked on him Monday, the house smelled of decomp. I couldn’t go in. My sister is a fucking trooper. She identified the body and then cleaned the mess down to the subfloor. God bless her.

My sister probably FaceTimed me 50 times yesterday trying to locate papers and keys. I know where he banks, where his storage units are, his insurance carriers, mortgage holder, etc just from being with him daily and helping him over the years. He actually lived with us for 4 years after Payton was born. He lost his house and was diagnosed with liver disease. I’m always up for helping. But, I was not prepared for how my body reacted to the grief after my aunt brought me his wallet and a few things Monday night. Yesterday my sister brought me his cellphone that was in his pocket when he passed. It took her hours to find it because everything in the house was moved around to get him out. When she gave it to me it was slightly tacky, and after that I was just a sick mess. I went home and made a cheater pot roast in an oven bag and went to bed. I was done with Tuesday. 😂

Today is better. I’ve had some space. No one has called or brought me anything. My body feels better. It’s going to take time. Aside from telling my 3 or 4 close friends, I haven’t done much to notify people yet. I’m just trying to absorb it all.  I don’t want to cry during every call I make.  I think I can do that this evening. I need to write his obituary too.

As far as his estate, I can’t do anything further until we get the death certificate.  My lawyer said we should keep current on the mortgage, property taxes, insurance and utilities. Nothing else matters at this point. He does have 2 storage units in Ringwood that are totally loaded. He was a hoarder big time. His house is full of boxes, bags, and containers. It was sad to see it. He usually comes to my house. The wellness check was the first time I’d been to his house in 8 years.

His bills aren’t bad. The mortgage is $660/month with taxes and insurance. His storage units are over $400 a month so I want those gone asap but they’re not temperature controlled and it’s January in Illinois. 🫤 I wish I knew someone that had a storage unit in that facility so I could use their gate code. I’d like to peak in there to see if there is anything worth keeping before I have to inform the manager of his passing. That’s normally not my style, but maybe somebody wants whatever he’s got in there. Let them sell the units. 🤷‍♀️

My uncle was also a little paranoid so EVERY little cabinet or drawer is locked in his house and my sister must have found 100+ keys.  😳 Nothing is labeled so when the smell dissipates we will take on that task. It’s a lot. One day at a time.

I’d still like to go out Saturday.  I’ll call Julie when she gets off of work to see what she’d like to do for her birthday.

Sorry for the novel. It was therapeutic to get it. lol